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Nasa conga study completed

After extensive studies by Nasa, they have determined that not all conga players are equal.

Nasa has conducted several experiments on conga players in space and on earth. Some of these experiments have been legitimate, and some have been cover ups for other activites. After selecting several conga players at random from various hostels, alley ways and off bar room floors, they subjected them to a variety of tests to see if there was any way of determining their conga playing abilities just by their appearance.

Some were fired into space with rockets with only mimimal provisions (non beer related stuff) and others were given copious amounts of beer and pizza. Although this had no relevance to their playing abilities whatsoever, they guys at Nasa said it was great fun and non of the conga player's neighbours would miss them, ever.

The selection of conga players below were some of the lucky guys selected, or who bravely volunteered to serve their country and it's corporate interests.

The results were surprising. Although conga players are not noted for their intelligence, (thats why they just play congas not a real instrument) some excelled in beer drinking while in space. Others unfortunately perished, and as you would expect those unpatriotic traitors who perished have been charged with various offences including theft of pizza and various matters that the RSPCA are looking into.

The study concluded that the conga player with the most muscles and the least hair are the better beer drinkers and therefore the best players. One particular conga player astounded researchers. Whilst being fired into space in the rocket, he crawled out onto the front of the rocket with several stubbies of beer and half a pizza and began trying to crash the rocket into several sattelites. He was seen to be yelling 'die you commie bastards!' at the Russian and Canadian satellites. Again it must be stressed that conga players are not known for their intelligence, hmmm.

This is the last known photgraph of the conga player known as ABU that NASA wish to question:

He was last seen yelling obscenities at asteroids and various stars and pelting the international space station with empty stubbies. He is wanted on charges of littering, indecent exposure and offensive language. Inhabitants of the international space station commented that it was scary enough being in space without guys like this smearing their private parts on the port holes while doing the chugalug. They were not amused. He also borrowed their cigarette lighter and has not returned it. He was last seen using it to light CENSORED.

Australian prime minister Kevin Rudd, in between eating ear wax, issued a stern warning to be weary when hiring conga players as they are not all trustworthy, even extremely good looking ones like Abu.